My kids have given me so much: joy, purpose, flaming hemorrhoids.

I became a mother five years ago, and it changed me forever. I never knew I could love another person as much as I love my children. And I never knew my anus could exist as a series of worm-like growths, dangling outside my body.

Completely serious, the elation and sense of belonging--and the parts of my rectum that are now inside-out--are something to behold. To think that the pre-kid me was just walking around the world without maternal instinct, and without Preparation H, is a concept so foreign to me now that I'm a mother.

Years ago, I wouldn't have guessed that my heart could grow three sizes, or that my arterio-venous system could wave at me while I'm getting dressed. When I met my son and daughter, it's like I met the full version of myself--the version who could sacrifice her needs for the sake of another. The version who could move mountains to care for her babies. The version who could no longer sit comfortably on a long airline flight.

What I'm saying is these tiny cherubs of mine have transformed my heart, and have transformed some of my internal organs into external organs.

Crystal Lowery

My Kids Have Given Me So Much: Joy, Purpose, Flaming Hemorrhoids

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